Alcoholism affects millions of people. Speaking out about it or seeking help can be difficult. Women’s Health recently shared eight women’s stories about their journey to sobriety. Their hope is to remove the stigma and pave the way for others to seek the help they need to get and stay sober. For those of you in the Westside Cleveland area, we are here to help.
Women’s Health: “Like many who struggle with addiction, my wake-up call came in the form of a series of unfortunate events, each one a neon sign blinking, ‘this is a problem,’ rather than one single event,” says Dani D., 34, who’s been sober for seven years. Dani’s story echoes that of many alcoholics: The drinking was fun, until it wasn’t. And deciding to get sober? That was hard as hell—but worth it, every day.
“It is so powerful to hear women’s stories of sobriety,” says licensed clinical alcohol and drug counselor Beth Kane-Davidson, director of the Addiction Treatment Center at Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. “It’s dealing with a disorder, just as if you were dealing with diabetes or cardiac issues, and people are much more open these days to saying, ‘This is the disorder I had, this is what I did to recover, and this is how my life is now.’” The more women talk about alcoholism, the easier it becomes for women to get the help and support they need, she says. It’s time to end the stigma.
Here, eight women reveal their struggles with alcoholism and how they got—and stayed—sober:
1. ‘IT BEGAN TO FEEL AS IF I WERE LIVING TWO LIVES—ONLY ONE OF WHICH I COULD REMEMBER’
“Throughout my teens and twenties, I’d been drinking recklessly and desperately, trying to viciously combat the social anxiety and despair I frequently felt. Alcohol had become my go-to escape, a ticket to a world where I could be more social, more wild, and less weighed down by anxious thoughts. Of course, the temporary highs that I experienced always left me with a patchwork of clues to put together. I’d wake in the mornings wondering what I’d said or done, baffled by how I’d returned home or where I’d woken.
“For years, after each hazy night filled with poor decisions, I’d wake and think to myself, I have to quit drinking, but I never actually imagined doing it. The errors in decision-making started out harmless enough—a public make-out session with a stranger, a sharp-tongued rebuke of a loved one—but the older I got, the more serious the errors became. Business trips turned boozy. Car keys slipped easily into the ignition. It began to feel as if I were living two lives—only one of which I could remember.
“When my alcohol misuse began to impact my work, I knew things had gone too far. When I couldn’t keep it to the weekends, when I couldn’t keep it to a social activity but instead took to drinking alone to calm my racing mind, I knew I had to seek change. From my doctor, I got the name of a therapist who specialized in addiction issues. It was the first time in my life that a professional had stated clearly—and without an ounce of hesitancy—that I had a problem. Something about that—the expert acknowledging what I’d known to be true for so long—changed the way I saw my alcohol-focused life. Something about the words she used and the hope she had for me made me realize that I didn’t have to keep drinking.
“Every day it’s a choice—and many days it’s not an easy one. But, for me, it’s always proven to be the right one. I never wake up with regret. I never wake up wondering where I am or who I might have been the night before. As I often say to those struggling at the beginning of sobriety: It gets easier, but it’s never easy. Seven years in and there are still difficult days, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Sobriety changed every aspect of my life for the better and, had I never given it a try, I never would have known the woman I have come to be.” —Dani D., 34, sober for seven years
2. SOBER IS THE NEW COOL’
“After moving from Texas to Florida at age 15, I was naturally searching for new friends. Drinking seemed to be my ticket into the ‘cool kids’ crew. Mixed with just the right amount of curiosity and boredom, this quickly led to binge drinking and using harder drugs. By the time I was 21, I was addicted to alcohol and cocaine.
“As a result of my substance abuse, I developed anxiety disorder. I would drink to manage my anxiety, unknowingly feeding it at the same time. I tried moderation and rules around drinking, but happy hour somehow always turned into sunrise, and back to the bottle I’d go. Meanwhile, I still managed to work, pay my bills, and even go to the gym, which convinced me that it wasn’t a problem. This continued for many years, until one day I reached a breaking point: I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. The hangovers. The shame and guilt. The anxiety. It had become too heavy to carry.
“After another bender, I dropped to my knees in prayer. I wasn’t a religious person, but I was desperate for a change, a miracle. From that day forward, I never drank or used cocaine again. I simply became willing to do things differently.
To continue reading about journeys sobriety, click here.