Bustle pulled highlights from a Reddit thread in which people with depression explained how they’d like others to talk to them. We thought this was a valuable conversation, and we wanted to share an excerpt here. If you have depression, think you might have depression or want to talk about living with someone with depression, please consider making an appointment to come into one of our locations in the greater Cleveland area.
Yesterday, an AskReddit thread asked people to explain what people with depression actually want you to say to them. If you’re a friend, partner, or family member of someone who struggles with depression, you probably already know that figuring out how to approach another person’s depression is a thorny issue. What should you say? What should you not say? Should you say anything at all? If you say the wrong thing, will you make things worse for your loved one? If you reach out, will they feel like you’re smothering them? If you don’t, will they feel abandoned?
This isn’t a theoretical challenge. Last year, 16.1 million Americans — nearly 7 percent of the U.S. population — experienced at least one major depressive episode, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. That means that the chances are high that someone you love (if not you yourself) has experienced or will experience depression at some point. And when that happens — when you’re called upon to support a depressed friend or sibling or romantic partner — what do you do?
Depression is a complex disorder that can be a truly debilitating, and the question “What should you say to someone with depression?” doesn’t have a simple answer. In yesterday’s AskReddit thread, redditors chimed in with hundreds of suggestions and comments, but one thing that the thread makes abundantly clear is that not everyone experiences depression in the same way. Some people crave human contact, and some don’t. Some want to talk about their feelings, and others seek distraction. There’s no single “perfect” sentence that will make someone feel better.