New Orleans Pelicans star Ryan Anderson was featured in the most recent issue of Sports Illustrated for something other than his athletic achievements: the suicide of his girlfriend, reality television star Gia Allemand. The article by Chris Ballard covers a lot of ground– the personal experiences of Ryan and of Gia’s mother Donna Micheletti as they’ve death with Gia’s suicide, information about suicide and surviving suicide, and the challenge of picking up after experiencing the self-inflicted death of a loved one, etc. We invite you to read this excerpt, and to click the link below for the full story. If you recognize yourself in any of the people featured in this story, there is help available. In the greater Cleveland area, you can call us at the Center for Effective Living, and no matter where you are in the US, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Every year nearly 40,000 Americans die by suicide. Globally the number is one million, or more lives than are lost to war, murder and natural disaster combined. Young adults such as Gia are particularly at risk: Suicide is the second leading cause of death among Americans ages 25 to 34.
Much of the media coverage of suicides, especially of high-profile figures such as Robin Williams, focuses on the act itself. But every suicide is not just a story of death but also the stories of the lives that go on. For each person who dies by suicide, there are an estimated six survivors, people who cared deeply for the deceased and are left grappling with what occurred. Many survivors are plagued by guilt, anger and shame that persists for years and often lifetimes. Ryan’s story is their story. It’s one framed by persistent challenges. How do you move forward without resolution? How do you celebrate the life of someone who chose to end her own?
Ryan’s first response was to shut down. He moved back in with his parents and ate only when his mother forced him to, and even then just applesauce and yogurt. His sister, Rachel, and her husband, Mark Groves, took turns sleeping next to him in his queen bed. Ryan spent his days on the patio, in the baking heat, reading his Bible in silence. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to his best friends, terrified of someone saying, “I’m sorry.” Of someone wanting him to talk about what happened.
What could he say? The person he loved most in the world was dead. How could he not be to blame? He felt ashamed. He felt he deserved punishment. Not just that, but in a weird way he felt like he’d lost. Like the relationship had been a battle, or a contest, and he’d worked so hard to win but in the end the two of them had lost because he didn’t do enough. If he’d only been stronger, smarter, more sensitive, Gia would be alive. He knew it.