Did you know that November 22, 2014 is “International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day”? If you’ve been affected by the suicide of someone you loved, this is an opportunity to come together with others who have experienced something similar. Suicide has a ripple effect on those who knew and loved the departed, and the survivors of military suicides are just one of the unique groups of people who share this bond. Here’s an excerpt from an article in Stars and Stripes about a relatively new community of military suicide survivors supporting each other, and if you’re in the greater Cleveland area and would like to talk to someone about suicide or depression, the Center for Effective Living is here.
Sitting and sobbing outside the hotel room where her Marine husband had just hanged himself, Kim Ruocco said she was horrified to find that nearly everyone who responded to the scene somehow managed to make her feel worse.
First she asked the hotel manager where her husband was staying, and he wordlessly backed into another room, shutting the door to avoid her. A trauma specialist told her to lie to her children about what had happened.
And then there was the priest.
Addressing the newly widowed woman, just steps away from her Catholic husband’s body, he said, “You know what Catholics believe about suicide? It’s a sin.”
“I said, ‘Are you telling me that I should tell my kids that their dad is not only dead, but that he’s also in hell?’” she recalled. “And he just looked at me.”
That experience in 2005 started Ruocco on what has become a full-time mission to help fellow survivors cope, heal and thrive. That often starts with an annual seminar for and by those who have lost troops and veterans to suicide.
Her journey culminated in the creation of the National Military Suicide Survivor Seminar, which recently convened in St. Petersburg, Fla. The program is organized by the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), a non-profit group that provides assistance to loved ones of fallen troops. This year’s event drew roughly 650 survivors from around the country, all of whom lost a servicemember to suicide.