A lot of the attention bullying gets in the media is focused on interactions between children, so we were glad to see this article addressing bullying in the workplace on the US News & World Report’s website. Here’s an excerpt from the piece, in which author Lynne Curry identifies ways to determine whether you are a “bully magnet” at work, and there’s a link to the full article below. While reading, if you discover you’re recognizing yourself or someone you care about as either a bully or a bullying victim, it may help to seek therapy. And if you’re in the greater Cleveland area, we hope you’ll consider contacting us.
Workplace bullying is epidemic. If fact, 37 million U.S. workers face “abusive conduct” during the workday, according to a 2014 survey from the Workplace Bullying Institute. Nearly 29 million others witness this abuse. To put this into tangible terms, the nearly 66 million workers who face or witness bullying equal the combined population of fifteen U.S. states.
Other reports show that three to four people out of every 10 have been bullied. If you’re the one encountering a bully in your workplace, you may be asking, “Can I please be in the other six?” Your answer lies in what leads bullies to target some individuals and not others. My research shows that five factors place you in a bully’s crosshairs. You can control four of these and impact the fifth.
1. You pass the test you need to fail. Consider this fictional example: The first time Jeff yelled an expletive at her, Sue asked “Bad day? I’ll come back later.” Jeff wasn’t done. “Let’s get this over with,” he snarled. But Sue had already exited his office. In contrast, Ellen stayed when Jeff launched into tirades, even when he shouted expletives at her.
Don’t pass the test you should fail. Bullies test to see if you’ll allow bad treatment. If you do, bullies escalate their abuse, and the situation can spiral out of control.
Never think you can ignore a bully. They don’t go away on their own and perceive avoidance as weakness. Those who don’t stand up to a bully’s initial attack signal that they’re easy prey, inadvertently encouraging continued bullying.
When Jeff sent Sue a furious follow-up email, she forwarded it to Jeff’s supervisor, her supervisor and the human resources officer. The next day, Sue met with a chastened Jeff.