We thought this short article from ADDitude offering tips for coming to terms with an ADHD diagnosis was worth sharing. An excerpt follows, and the link below it will take you to the full text. Remember: being evaluated for learning disabilities like ADHD can lead to good things– like receiving proper treatment and/or being allowed additional time for test taking, among other things. If you suspect that you or someone you care for has a learning disability, look into an evaluation. And if you’re in the greater Cleveland area, we hope you’ll consider coming to us.
The concept of the “grief cycle” was originally conceived by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross to describe how people confront and come to terms with terminal illness. It has been applied to the process people go through as they integrate and learn to accept any major life change. I have my own description of what I have seen happen as people with ADHD go through this cycle after diagnosis. Eventually, all people diagnosed with ADHD must work their way through the following stages if they are to move forward in their lives. Below are some descriptions of the feelings and challenges you might encounter as you progress through your own grief cycle with ADHD.
Denial
Denial may follow the period of relief that often accompanies diagnosis. At first you might deny the reality of having ADHD, or accept it superficially, or continue to question whether you have it. Even if you admit to having ADHD, you have not yet integrated it in a meaningful way that will help you adjust. When your ADHD symptoms appear, you may attribute them to personal failings: “I’m stupid and irresponsible.” As with any life-altering event or change of self-view, the person having it often goes through a period of shock.
Anger
After you understand that you do have ADHD, you look back and see how deeply it has affected every area of your life. At this point you may become angry over lost opportunities. You may try to focus on when things started to go off course and feel anger toward those who let you down as a child: family members who didn’t help, teachers who misunderstood, or people who blamed you. Or you may feel angry in general that life has been so hard. Anger is a natural part of the grief cycle, and it is necessary to experience it to move beyond it.